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This is some guy who’s said to live at a place known as 221b Baker Street. Non-existent obviously but has a huge following and many films, some recent with Robert Downey, a TV series with Benedict Cumberbatch. Sherrinford smokes a pipe, frequently refers to his mate Ormond as ‘Elementary.’ The one friend he never wanted was Moriarty. Sherrin became dissatisfied with this most dubious collaboration and pushed Moriarty from the top of a bloody great waterfall. One way to get rid of people you don’t like! Just remember – let go of the other guy while you are at it!

Facts! Facts! There’s plenty of evidence on the ground in and about Baker Street if anyone wants to find out whether this guy – Sherlock Homes Consulting Detective – really does exist. Or does he? I thought he died at Reichenbach? A case of too much Meringue perhaps? Never mind! The Baker Street area is a great source of material for my blog and it saves me having to look far for any inspiration lol!

The first and greatest suspicion I have about this guy is that he ever never lived in Baker Street. That’s the truth. In those days it was known as Upper Baker Street. The numbers there didn’t even reach the hundreds! Now that’s a simple deduction. Someone’s been faking this guy’s life for decades!

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Holmes’ deductive methods – the same exact ones I employed in creating this special post! Source: Twitter

And what do others think of it all? Here’s what one source says of Holmes and his huge influence on the area…

Sherlockopolis is an ephemeral crust applied over a pretty grim junction of two arterial roads… a touristic flypaper designed to make these unremarkable places sticky with Holmesian myth.

Unremarkable? I always thought Baker Street was out of bounds to people like me, a snooty toffy nosed locality only the rich could venture without permission… except in terms of my needing to change between tube lines or catch a bus somewhere – for which such purpose I assumed permission was automatically granted. Nevertheless….

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221b Baker Street: A genuine picture of Holmes and Watson (the latter not being a pipe smoker obviously!) Source: Twitter

When one arrives at Baker Street on the Jubilee (the one and only deep level tube to serve Baker Street) there’s huge panels along the station platforms depicting the lives and times of Sherlock. Thing is, I cant understand why no mention’s made of Conan Doyle? Duh! Maybe they just forgot to mention him – or he turned out some blag artist who had no right to be in Sherlock’s life? Doyle, you’re out of this – and don’t come back!

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An interesting deduction can be made at the tube station! Loads of stuff on Holmes so this guy’s gotta be real….

Now that Doyle’s no longer in the equation let’s do a little history revision… Sherrin himself began life by penning two very important biographies – written in largely a third person sense. The first was A Sundial in the Bahamas and the second A Study in Scarborough. And Professor Challenger… now where the hell does that guy fit in???

Changing the subject ever so quickly… I was walking about the other day minding my own business when I ventured upon Sherlock Mews. They even have a street named after him! But was it always ‘Sherlock?’ Shurely they’ve just renamed this street….

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Shurely some mistaike?

Actually it was York Mews South. So this other here is under false pretences….

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York Mews South is the road’s real name!

What strikes me as interesting is there’s no hordes of people here taking photographs or selfies. ‘We’ve been to Sherlock Mews.’ These Sherlock fans are no doubt quite savvy when it comes to fakery (except when the evidence’s right on their nose as we will see in a moment…)

Let’s go over to the guy’s real abode…

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The evidence for 221b Baker Street. Source: Twitter

As the above document shows, there is no doubt Sherrinford Holmes lived at 221b Baker Street. Ultimately he called himself Sherlock, because, for f**cks sake who likes being called Sherrinford? Imagine the calling card presented to your good self: Sherrinford Holmes – Consulting Detective.

Doesn’t work does it? Okay here’s the great detective’s real calling card:

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Would you rather it was Sherrinford Holmes? Please god no!

And Ormond Sackler? That was Dr Watson’s old name. After a life of crime, he decided to turn over a new leaf – out went the Ormond and in came John H. Watson. Think about it – Watson pretending to be a doctor was yet another of Ormond’s dubious leanings! And they say criminals have morals lol!

Below is irreconcilable proof our Ormond is a master of disguise. A change of moustache and its…. erm…. Watson MkI, MkII etc! Source: Twitter

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Strange I thought Holmes was the master of disguise… in fact I’m dazed and confused by it all! It clearly shows one does not know enough about this pair of guys to trust them to any great extent. So if I were you I’d steer clear of them.

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Recognise these guys? They’re wanted everywhere! Huge rewards on offer for their capture… (plus countless TV appearances.) Source: Twitter

These guys they’re so badly wanted by half the world even the Chinese are in on the game, writing letters to Baker Street in order to enquire the whereabouts of a certain Mr Holmes…

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Letters pertaining to the whereabouts of a certain Sherlock Holmes…

Ever wondered why all the tube lines go to Baker Street? Its Sherlock obviously! The Metropolitan Railway started the trend back in 1863 with its steam trains and no doubt many pipe smokers/deer stalker wearers aboard! (Some obviously were time travellers too…)

Then came the Bakerloo Line. Its original course was to head straight along the south side of Regent’s Park directly towards Sherlock’s abode at 221b, before continuing towards its intended terminus at Marylebone. In fact the Baker Street and Waterloo Railway Company minutes for 5 January 1904 records its chairman as saying in regards to the construction and alignment of the said route:

The Metropolitan was there first. They grabbed a whole land estate right in front of Madame Tussauds and have a station entrance right next to it. They’re rolling in the money. This is where our own reasoning comes in. We beat them to this one. They’re not getting Sherrin. We are. We grab a whole parcel of land in Baker Street itself, right next to Sherlock, and that dear sirs, is where we are building our new underground railway station!

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Proof of the pudding! The Baker Street and Waterloo’s 1906 station is almost right opposite Sherrin’s abode 🙂 Source: Reddit

Sherlock has a huge fan base and millions watch his exploits on the screen, whether big or small, whilst countless thousands have read the books. People queue up to see the Sherlock museum and many stand outside with the policeman (who isn’t real by the way.) One can always claim to their mates ‘I’ve met the Met…’

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Meeting the Met… a rather unhappy looking officer at 221b!

Until recently, the road system was done in such a way that southbound and northbound traffic were on entirely separate streets. Not very elementary of the council to do this!

This year they’ve restored the two way traffic because it was realised many people actually missed Sherlock’s place. Obviously it was a problem for many alighting from their buses in Gloucester Place and then having to find Sherlock. Now its simply a case of alighting from a bus – and there’s 221b right on the doorstep!

There’s a shop dedicated to Sherlock stuff and mementos, but no photographs apparently. (They obviously don’t like anyone taking evidence – not in even in the form of photos! That rule, by the way, also applies to anyone being light fingered.)

A huge industry has grown up because someone (or no-body rather if the evidence is anything to go by) lives at 221b Baker Street and it must be one of the world’s most instantly recognisable addresses.

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Map to help find one’s way around Sherrin’s home. Please print and take along for your own personal use. Source: Guardian

One question’s always been present in my mind. Its not elementary my dear, its obvious! As a resident of 221b Baker Street, Sherlock is no doubt a Westminster resident. Does he actually pay council tax? Here’s the big secret. No he does not!

Its like the Queen further down the road… Westminster’s two most famous residents clearly dont pay council tax because they are such prestigious symbols. The money they generate in terms of tourism is anything far beyond what a mere council tax bill would raise. Westminster council realises if they started charging these famous residents council tax they’d soon sod off to Windsor or wherever there’s a second abode… Big loss for the council and a huge deficit for local businesses!

Anyway if you’re desperate to see Sherlock, here’s his secret address (and no its not 221b Baker Street!) Its actually 235-237 Baker Street! (And it was Upper Baker Street to begin with – should you even you remember…) I think they demolished the original by mistake thus for many years they’ve had to pretend 235 was actually 221b. Daft isn’t it?

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The big secret’s out… this aint even 221b!

Does anyone notice? No of course not! It shows many of Sherlock’s followers don’t even have a clue as to the detective’s rather dubious claims he lives here. It seems to me Sherlock isn’t getting very far trying to install his observation techniques in others….

His followers are clearly a very un-elementary lot. They flock here in their thousands with not one ever questioning the glaring inconsistencies…

Apologies from me…

I have to let you know something real bad. I’ve run out of ideas after seven long years of blogging and just could not think of a single further damn post – this was a special Sherlock write-up. Something to fill the gaps in. I did my utmost best to cast a very expert eye and analytical mind upon this subject, supported by said true historical facts – so hopefully you enjoyed this most excellent and factual of articles!